Immoderate desires

I have been very successful in the past by using a very rigid, very structured approach to weight loss. I have lost and regained over 100 pounds at least three times (I've lost count) and each of those successful weight loss campaigns has involved counting calories, eating only certain prepared foods, or eating meal replacements, combined with at least an hour of cardiovascular exercise every single day. This was not moderate nor was it intuitive, and it worked to get large amounts of weight off but not to get all of it off nor to keep it off.

Of late, I've been focusing on understanding why I eat so badly and trying to love myself into wanting to take care of myself physically. The problem with that approach is that I'm diabetic and my blood sugar is not in good control (even with strict adherence to an extensive medication regime as prescribed by my doctors), and that situation cannot be allowed to continue. At this point, the danger of my continuing to allow my blood sugar to remain high outweighs my desire to "figure things out on my own," so I need to take a different path, at least until my sugars drop into acceptable range.

So I've ordered meals for the next week - starting on Thursday - from a local service that prepares fresh meals that are calorie controlled, well-balanced and delicious. I'm going to give them a try for a week combined with 30-60 minutes of cardio to see what happens to my blood sugar, my sleeping habits (I currently wake up every 90 minutes or so to use the bathroom because of my blood sugar), and yes, the waistlines of my clothes which are cutting painfully into my bloated belly. I'll document how I do each day, including pictures of each meal, details of my workouts, and what's going on in my brain, right here on the blog so that you can play along at home.

Feel free to be skeptical - I am. What makes this different than yesterday or the day before or any day for the last 25 years? I'm not sure, but I feel calm and ready, so we'll see how I do.