Thirty-two days

I had a great meeting with my Registered Dietician today. We created three different "go-to" breakfast plans for me that I can rotate through that are well-designed for both my diabetes and my high triglycerides.

1. 6" whole wheat tortilla with two Laughing Cow light wedges + homemade skinny latte (with 8oz nonfat milk) + 1/2c mixed berries = 45g carbs, very low fat
2. 2/3c Crispy Brown Rice (gluten free) cereal and 1T slivered almonds sprinkled on 1/2c vanilla organic Greek yogurt with 1/2c mixed berries + homemade skinny latte (8oz nonfat milk) = 46g carbs, low fat
3. 1/2c Egg Beaters (scrambled, with or without veggies) on 1 slice whole wheat bread, toasted and spread with 1 wedge Laughing Cow light + 1c. watermelon + homemade skinny latte (with 8oz nonfat milk) = 45g carbs, very low fat

We also discussed how many changes I've implemented into my life since getting the results of my last blood work and that my upcoming tests should be a much more pleasant experience. That's when she mentioned that while the blood test measures the average of my blood sugars over a three month period that it's heavily weighted toward the most recent results. In other words, she said, the last thirty days before my test will weighted to about 50% of the average I'll see. So if I were to pile up thirty days as close to perfect as I can get, my blood work ought to show tremendous improvement.

I have exactly thirty-two days from tomorrow morning until my next blood test.

Thirty-two days to prove just how much I've learned since the dark day in May when I heard the bad news.

Thirty-two days to get very, very serious about wanting to - and committing to! - live a long, healthy life with my diabetes (instead of dying a very sick diabetic in a precious few years).

I can do this. I can count my carbs and not go over 45g in a meal. I can give up the sneaky snacks I've been guiltily eating in the middle of otherwise healthy days. (Doesn't matter how natural they are, they're still carbs and calories!) I can get 45-60 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week.

I can't let my diabetes team (primary care physician, endocrinologist/diabetes doctor, diabetes educator, registered dietician) who have poured so much care and concern into me down. I can't let my friends and family who love and support me down. I can't let all of you down. But most importantly, I can't let myself down. I am worth it. I have value. What I do matters. And I won't be here much longer if I don't do this.

Thirty-two days. Bring it on.