My heart breaks

I was doing fine, getting along with my life, missing him but managing. Then I read his blog.

Titled "Dying Here", it was posted about a week after he left...

"It is really hard sometimes being alone and in foreign place. It is even
harder when you don't have time to unwind and enjoy things. Leave was too
short and I missed my wife the day I started leave because I knew I was
leaving again."

And suddenly there's an ache in my heart and a lump in my throat. My husband doesn't tell me how he feels (I don't know if it's a military thing or just a TCB thing) so this is the only indication I had that he was sad while he was home because he knew he had to leave again. That's how I felt but I never imagined he was feeling the same way. Poor man! Everyone expects me to cry and be depressed when he leaves but it's not "OK" for him to share how he feels with the world.

No wonder he seemed so desperately sad when I talked to him after he went back!