And all was right with the world again
Last night, about 10:30 p.m., my phone rang. Caller ID said "Unidentified" and my heart sank because when TCB calls from the ship's satellite phone, it shows up with a 619 area code (the switching station is on-base in San Diego). I figured it couldn't be telemarketers that late, so I answered and then I heard his voice. Not the staticky, echoey, 3-second-delay voice over the satellite phone, but his real voice from his Japanese cell phone. They're back in port. Don't know for how long but we talked for almost two hours.
I told him everything...how scared and lonely I've been, that our dream house sometimes feels like the furthest outpost in the wilderness, and that the cancellation of his plans to come home had sent me into a wicked nasty tailspin emotionally. Usually I try not to go there with him, but I just had to let it out. He was quiet after I'd gotten it all out and asked if I was going to be OK, to which I replied, "I'm OK now," and it was true.
The sound of his voice, the reassurance that I wasn't all alone, that he loves and needs me as much as I do him - all of it relaxed me completely. In fact, and this was the craziest thing, after not sleeping more than a 30 minute nap at a time since Saturday, I felt myself beginning to yawn at about 1:45 a.m. and then my body started to get that blissful sleepy feeling. I told him that I thought I might be able to sleep at last and, about 5 minutes after we hung up, I was fast asleep. Deep, restorative sleep. My only gripe is that I had to be at work this morning so I couldn't sleep as much as I wanted but the constant yawns are a promise that there will be more sleep later tonight.
Speaking of tonight, I'm going to the first home baseball game of the year between the Padres and Angels. The wonderful thing about this game is that I'm a die-hard fan of both teams so I'm guaranteed that my team will win. (Conversely, of course, my team will also lose. Half full or half empty?)
I told him everything...how scared and lonely I've been, that our dream house sometimes feels like the furthest outpost in the wilderness, and that the cancellation of his plans to come home had sent me into a wicked nasty tailspin emotionally. Usually I try not to go there with him, but I just had to let it out. He was quiet after I'd gotten it all out and asked if I was going to be OK, to which I replied, "I'm OK now," and it was true.
The sound of his voice, the reassurance that I wasn't all alone, that he loves and needs me as much as I do him - all of it relaxed me completely. In fact, and this was the craziest thing, after not sleeping more than a 30 minute nap at a time since Saturday, I felt myself beginning to yawn at about 1:45 a.m. and then my body started to get that blissful sleepy feeling. I told him that I thought I might be able to sleep at last and, about 5 minutes after we hung up, I was fast asleep. Deep, restorative sleep. My only gripe is that I had to be at work this morning so I couldn't sleep as much as I wanted but the constant yawns are a promise that there will be more sleep later tonight.
Speaking of tonight, I'm going to the first home baseball game of the year between the Padres and Angels. The wonderful thing about this game is that I'm a die-hard fan of both teams so I'm guaranteed that my team will win. (Conversely, of course, my team will also lose. Half full or half empty?)
Comments
I'm so glad you were able to get some rest, and so glad to hear you are feeling better.
Sometimes the release of sharing the burden really is what it takes to make me okay.