Not in my body

Saturday morning. My Lighter Way class starts in one minute and I'm sitting here at home. I am in such total opposition to my poor body right now that I can't even imagine walking and then doing yoga. I don't want to touch it, see it, think about it, or nourish it...much less do the work needed to learn to love it. Even the pain I felt earlier this week didn't bring me back - I just tried to ignore it, push through it, wait it out until I could go back to my numbness and neglect.

I just want a world that doesn't revolve around weight loss, around hating my body or trying not to hate my body, around what to put in my mouth and how to move my body. Can that ever happen for me???