Slightly pissed off - you might want to skip
Thursday afternoon. I love reading about others' success, about their hard work and dedication to being in shape and living a fit lifestyle. I cheer with them when they lose another 2, 3, 4, or more pounds each week, even as I've watched the numbers on my own scale climb to precipitous heights. Their success doesn't detract from me, it doesn't threaten me, and, being friends via Internet with these people, I'm just so pleased for their success because their happiness bring me happiness, too. (That's the way friendship works.)
However, anyone who uses their success as a soapbox to launch into a smug, self-satisfied attack on others who've "let themselves go"? Yeah, it's on. You know nothing about those women you've just passed a really ignorant judgment on. They could be suffering from any number of mental illnesses that impair their ability to focus on much of anything, much less their own health and well-being. They could have thyroid problems which definitely impact their weight (among many other things). PCOS, too, causes problems with weight and can contribute to depression as well. There are also those, like myself, suffering from eating disorders such as bulimia, binge eating disorder, and compulsive eating. Would you say that someone who tore a tendon in their knee and so was unable to exercise and gained some weight was "letting herself go"??! (Wow, I really hope not.)
Am I done ranting yet? Oh, heck no! Why must some people compare themselves to others who are not as accomplished in order to feel good about themselves? Isn't the whole point of how fabulous you are for having lost weight that you, um DUH, had to lose weight, too? So, really, you're not better, are you? Nothing separates you from those other men and women except the numbers on the scale and on the waistband of their blue jeans and honestly, are you so shallow that you can use that to pass judgment on them?
No, we've not "let ourselves go", we're mothers and career women and girlfriends and mentors and volunteers and daughters and sons and babysitters and CASAs and, unlike you (apparently), have not put ourselves at the top of our priority list for a while. Do not presume to judge us or yourself so easily...little in life is as simple as that. Celebrate your victories (scale and non-scale) by all means, but please don't resort to running others down to make yourself feel better - that just cheapens your achievements.
I saw a bumper sticker once that said, "I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet." How true. How very, very true.
However, anyone who uses their success as a soapbox to launch into a smug, self-satisfied attack on others who've "let themselves go"? Yeah, it's on. You know nothing about those women you've just passed a really ignorant judgment on. They could be suffering from any number of mental illnesses that impair their ability to focus on much of anything, much less their own health and well-being. They could have thyroid problems which definitely impact their weight (among many other things). PCOS, too, causes problems with weight and can contribute to depression as well. There are also those, like myself, suffering from eating disorders such as bulimia, binge eating disorder, and compulsive eating. Would you say that someone who tore a tendon in their knee and so was unable to exercise and gained some weight was "letting herself go"??! (Wow, I really hope not.)
Am I done ranting yet? Oh, heck no! Why must some people compare themselves to others who are not as accomplished in order to feel good about themselves? Isn't the whole point of how fabulous you are for having lost weight that you, um DUH, had to lose weight, too? So, really, you're not better, are you? Nothing separates you from those other men and women except the numbers on the scale and on the waistband of their blue jeans and honestly, are you so shallow that you can use that to pass judgment on them?
No, we've not "let ourselves go", we're mothers and career women and girlfriends and mentors and volunteers and daughters and sons and babysitters and CASAs and, unlike you (apparently), have not put ourselves at the top of our priority list for a while. Do not presume to judge us or yourself so easily...little in life is as simple as that. Celebrate your victories (scale and non-scale) by all means, but please don't resort to running others down to make yourself feel better - that just cheapens your achievements.
I saw a bumper sticker once that said, "I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet." How true. How very, very true.
Comments
P.S. Email me at bitchy@thatthinbitch.com.
*smooches*
I love that bumper sticker, by the way.
Good for you getting it out there too. Holding in the anger is not going to do anyone any good. Keep on fighting the good fight my friend.
Merry Christmas!
(and i agree w/ taylore too. there is nothing more irritating about the New Loser. you can celebrate your loss and try to inspire others, but there's no need for snugness. one is not invincible!)
PS happy holidays :)
Seriously - the number on the scale doesn't have anything to do with who lives on the inside.
BTW - you haven't 'let yourself go." I think that you're on track for some great success!!
Seriously, coming from someone currently struggling, I really appreciated this post. I've dealt with the type you've described here, and it always pisses me off. Taylore is right, it's often someone "new" to the game, someone who got on a great roll, a losing streak, and hasn't yet hit a bump in the road... but sometimes it's also someone who should know better.
I appreciate this post more than I can say. Struggling sucks ass, and knowing someone appreciates the many reasons for it makes it just a little bit easier to believe I'll get through it, that we all can!