All good things must come to an end

Thursday morning. It is with more than a little sadness that I began the packing process last night before I went to bed. Yes, I'm excited about getting home so that I can put my mindset and new skills to the test, but I'm also sad as I think about leaving this wonderful, heart-warming place.

I use the word "heart-warming" in the most literal sense, to describe the warmth I feel in my heart as I go about my days here at Lake Austin Spa Resort. It's as though, as the wrought iron gates shut behind my airport shuttle on Thursday, I was enveloped by a warm hug from a dear friend. For the past 6-1/2 days, I've felt more at ease, more comfortable in my own skin, and more a part of something wonderful than I have in quite a while. Honestly, it reminds me a lot of that feeling of being in The Zone - the magical place where it's easier to make good choices for your life and your body than it is to do the opposite. Life is easy here. Easy and joyful. Whatever you want to do, no matter how active or not, is just fine and even encouraged.

Last night's Paint a Pot class was a great case in point. As the thunder, lightning, and torrential rain went about their business outside, about 20 of us got together in the Lake Kitchen to paint as many garden pots as we wanted to in the 50 minutes we had available to us. Due to the unfortunate restriction of having a small suitcase and a 5-1/2 hour trip home tonight (boo!), I chose one of the smallest pots and then set about putting together a color palette and design scheme. As I worked on my lovely creation (I'll post a pic once I get home - LOL), I realized that being inventive wasn't as difficult as it had been with projects earlier in the week. It's as though this week has removed some barrier that I've erected between potentially fun new activities and me. It's the same thing with the yoga classes I've taken, the Nia dance class I took, and the India aerobics. These are not things that I'd ever allow myself to do at home for fear that I wouldn't be perfect, that I would look stupid in front of others who would then feel justified in their classification of me as the "stupid, useless fat girl." I don't feel that here, though and, after a few days of getting adjusted to the way freedom from recriminations (even self induced) feels, my spirit just expanded within me, filling each and every nook and cranny with warmth, light, and love. Ultimately, the challenge really is to find a way to bring as much of that home with me as possible, so that, in case it takes me another three years to get back here, I will continue to grow and nurture myself.

So, I've got another few precious hours here and then it's off to the airport and (with any luck, weather permitting) home to San Diego. To Jorge and Jerri in the kitchen, Blanca and Joe John at the LakeHouse Spa, and Liz and Catherine in the Activities Department - I cannot thank you all enough for the wonderful hospitality and kindness you've shown. To Debbie and Dale, Kerri and Marcia, Martha and Martha Jane, Rachel, and Mia - you will never know what your companionship over the last week has meant to me. I wish I could bring you all home with me and I know that I will do so in my heart.

Thanks for the memories!