Vacation dreaming and a possible explanation for why I'm feeling so moony about TCB

Thursday morning. A week from right now, I'll be taxiing down the runway on a plane that will take me to Dallas where I will connect to a flight to Austin. Once in Austin, I will take a shuttle from the airport to the resport spa where I'll be staying for seven nights. I am antsy with anticipation and am really excited about the possibilities of increasing my health and fitness level during this special week completely dedicated to me. Ahhhhh, relaxation and pampering - what more could a girl ask for in her summer vacation?

In the past few days, I've become aware of a possible reason for my desire to let TCB know how I'm feeling about him. I haven't shared it here, but the fact is that TCB is a member of America's military. I'm very proud of that fact, but what I've realized is that, with each new story of soldiers, Marines, and sailors being killed or maimed in Afghanistan and Iraq, there's this tightness in the pit of my stomach. When he was writing checks for his bills last time we were together, I was giving TCB a bad time for not having his bills set up for online payment when he said, "If I'm deployed, I'll set it up then." I couldn't even speak for a second and then I said, "Well, I guess I'll just have to hope that you keep having to write checks then, huh?" Since then, I've just been more and more preoccupied with the thought that I could lose this wonderful person before I've even gotten the chance to really know him. I think this might be one of the reasons for the tightness and pain in my tummy, too, as I've started feeling a lot better since I downloaded a guided relaxation off of iTunes and using it diligently. I just keep thinking that there's a woman or girl somewhere here in the US grieving for each of those names on TV or the radio and I cannot imagine that kind of pain. I can't talk to him about it because - duh! - he'd be totally freaked out if he knew I was worrying about him already, but I'm pretty sure that's what's driving me toward wanting to tell him how I feel.

Incidentally, I found this great website where you can send a message of support to America's troops. I've sent a message and would like to ask each of you to take just a few seconds today to let them know that they're supported and thought of. Whether or not you support the reasons they are there, surely you can support those that are separated from their families and put in harm's way, right?