Can we believe in Happily Ever After?
Sunday morning. As the distance - both time and space - grows between New Orleans and here, I am growing less and less confident of everything that happened there. Perhaps I came on too strong and he said what he did just to get rid of me? But then I remember our talk and the way that he held me and I know that I won't really know the score until May. Was my first reaction right or is this budding fear/skepticism the truth? I just don't know.
I'm so totally afraid that he'll forget me, that it wasn't real, and that this will become just another nail in the coffin of my cockeyed optimism, my sunny belief that Love really does conquer all. I guess the only questiona that matters would are: is this man really worthy? Is he really as special as I think he is? If he's not, then none of this matters. If he is, then none of this matters, either.
So, where does this leave me? I'm adrift and confused, but then I read this on my Yahoo horoscope: "Frustration can be motivating. Don't give up -- prove the naysayers wrong." For me to give up would be to repudiate my heart, and I just cannot do that. I'd rather be hurt (again) than ever to admit that Love is not all that it's cracked up to be. If I use this fear as an opportunity to put the courage of my convictions to the test then I can come out the other end stronger and happier than ever, and that's just what I intend to do.
Was this once a weight loss site? Sheesh!
I'm so totally afraid that he'll forget me, that it wasn't real, and that this will become just another nail in the coffin of my cockeyed optimism, my sunny belief that Love really does conquer all. I guess the only questiona that matters would are: is this man really worthy? Is he really as special as I think he is? If he's not, then none of this matters. If he is, then none of this matters, either.
So, where does this leave me? I'm adrift and confused, but then I read this on my Yahoo horoscope: "Frustration can be motivating. Don't give up -- prove the naysayers wrong." For me to give up would be to repudiate my heart, and I just cannot do that. I'd rather be hurt (again) than ever to admit that Love is not all that it's cracked up to be. If I use this fear as an opportunity to put the courage of my convictions to the test then I can come out the other end stronger and happier than ever, and that's just what I intend to do.
Was this once a weight loss site? Sheesh!
Comments
My second long-distance romance was the real challenge, though, with 1200 miles between us. That one worked out and we've lived together nearly 3 years and plan to marry as soon as the ring is paid off lol ;~)
Good luck to you! It CAN be done. I hate to use the old cliche "if it's meant to be, it will be"..but it's true. Don't spend all that time questioning what's happened. Just enjoy it! It's a wonderful feeling knowing there is someone out there who finds us totally irresistible :)
Whenever I start second guessing myself like this, I remind myself that whether I look forward to the future with hope and optimism or assume the worst case scenario, either way--if it doesn't work out, I am going feel disappointed and sad. So, I figure, I'd much rather be hopeful and positive in the meantime and deal with the possibility that things won't go as I hoped then spend the here and now feeling lousy about it. You know what I mean? I always choose to believe in love. Sometimes I am right and sometimes I am wrong, but being optimisitc about it has never hurt me. :)
Kris
I hope it all works out, but as the old saying goes, "there's more fish in the sea."
(This is why I am NOT a paid advice columnist)
If things don't work out, it's his loss. Thank goodness we don't just get one shot at love. :)
Whatever happens, enjoy the ride!