Wondering aimlessly
Tuesday (late) afternoon. Do you ever wonder what your life is about? Certainly, this was a more frequent hobby of mine before I found several important things to focus my energy on, but it's still something I spend some time reflecting on. What do I want my legacy to be? What does having a legacy even mean? If I don't have children of my own, will my time here have been for naught? If I never find romantic love again, will my life ever be truly complete? Question after question floods my mind but no answers ever seem to follow.
This afternoon when this little game started, I reached an interesting conclusion: I don't think there are answers. I think we're meant to question - endlessly, ceaselessly - in order that we never accept "what is" in place of "what might be" for our dreams.
Yes, I have a really fabulous life and I am truly, deeply happy, with myself, my life, and the legacy I would leave if something happened tonight, but that's not all that I want for myself. I want love. I want children (adopted or biological). I want a family. I want to watch Alcott graduate from college and know that I had something to do with it. I want to have the eight girls from my Junior League provisional team at my wedding. (Yes, I really do want to be married again, although no white dress this time around!) I want to get my business degree and then, perhaps, a MBA or even look into law school. I want a strong man to walk beside me at the water's edge as the sun sets into the ocean. I want to lie on the couch reading the paper on a Sunday morning with my children playing around me and my husband's hand in mine. These are huge dreams, but I think that's the point.
Dreams are what makes the fire burn inside us. Without dreams, we just wander through our day-to-day existence with no concept of anything bigger or better. I know this because, not so very long ago, that was the way I lived my life. Well, to be precise, that was how I existed, for I don't think I really ever lived. Not properly. Not fully. Not deeply and passionately. Dreams, passion...they burn deep inside us like a roaring inferno, spurring us always on to greater things, and that's the point.
Never settle. Never sell yourself short. Never give up your passion.
This afternoon when this little game started, I reached an interesting conclusion: I don't think there are answers. I think we're meant to question - endlessly, ceaselessly - in order that we never accept "what is" in place of "what might be" for our dreams.
Yes, I have a really fabulous life and I am truly, deeply happy, with myself, my life, and the legacy I would leave if something happened tonight, but that's not all that I want for myself. I want love. I want children (adopted or biological). I want a family. I want to watch Alcott graduate from college and know that I had something to do with it. I want to have the eight girls from my Junior League provisional team at my wedding. (Yes, I really do want to be married again, although no white dress this time around!) I want to get my business degree and then, perhaps, a MBA or even look into law school. I want a strong man to walk beside me at the water's edge as the sun sets into the ocean. I want to lie on the couch reading the paper on a Sunday morning with my children playing around me and my husband's hand in mine. These are huge dreams, but I think that's the point.
Dreams are what makes the fire burn inside us. Without dreams, we just wander through our day-to-day existence with no concept of anything bigger or better. I know this because, not so very long ago, that was the way I lived my life. Well, to be precise, that was how I existed, for I don't think I really ever lived. Not properly. Not fully. Not deeply and passionately. Dreams, passion...they burn deep inside us like a roaring inferno, spurring us always on to greater things, and that's the point.
Never settle. Never sell yourself short. Never give up your passion.
Comments
My goodness you are inspirational.
Thank you for just being YOU.
Eternal questioning! I love it, the options are endless. The same goes for life. Glad to see someone shares a few of my views.
Keep up the good work :-P
In the end, if you don't dream it, you can't really ever have it.