Musings on men [UPDATED @ 10:26am]
[I have amended my early rant based on the feedback I received pointing out that I was making a sweeping generalization. In fairness to the many wonderful men out there who do communicate properly, please see the changes enclosed in brackets below.]
Wednesday morning. I do not understand [some] men. One would think, after 37 years on Earth, that I would have some sort of basic knowledge of the [other] sex, but it's been brought home to me, rather forcefully, that any such understanding I might think I have is illusory.
When [most] girl friends [are] unhappy with you, you'll know about it. Oh, it might take a little while for her to come out and tell you, but it will happen. With [some] ma[le] friend[s], you'll probably never hear from him again. What is up with that??? Hello? Do you not think I can handle the grown up conversation about what's bothering you? It's not as though we're dating or in love or anything like that, Dude, so get over yourself. Yes, I had a crush - so what? I get crushes the same way I buy new clothes: easily and with great frequency. There have only been two great loves in my life and you are nothing like either of those men, so do not worry about my being in love. I know what love - real, true love, not the casual declaration made in the heat of passion - is and I know that I reserve that part of myself for a man who earns it.
Someone needs to write a book on how to interpret [] silences because I'm sure there are more out there like me who aren't adept at knowing what the unsaid means. It is clear to me, once again, that I am not the writer for the job.
Wednesday morning. I do not understand [some] men. One would think, after 37 years on Earth, that I would have some sort of basic knowledge of the [other] sex, but it's been brought home to me, rather forcefully, that any such understanding I might think I have is illusory.
When [most] girl friends [are] unhappy with you, you'll know about it. Oh, it might take a little while for her to come out and tell you, but it will happen. With [some] ma[le] friend[s], you'll probably never hear from him again. What is up with that??? Hello? Do you not think I can handle the grown up conversation about what's bothering you? It's not as though we're dating or in love or anything like that, Dude, so get over yourself. Yes, I had a crush - so what? I get crushes the same way I buy new clothes: easily and with great frequency. There have only been two great loves in my life and you are nothing like either of those men, so do not worry about my being in love. I know what love - real, true love, not the casual declaration made in the heat of passion - is and I know that I reserve that part of myself for a man who earns it.
Someone needs to write a book on how to interpret [] silences because I'm sure there are more out there like me who aren't adept at knowing what the unsaid means. It is clear to me, once again, that I am not the writer for the job.
Comments
I am actually sorry for most of them, in the nicest most compassionate way. Poor creatures have been brought up to play the tough part. It must be really difficult to learn how to and have to live with NOT showing your feelings. We are so much luckier. We are entitled to tears, giggles, silliness, all. Poor them must always behave!
I think that [most of us] are all different, and that [most of us] do not need to really understand each other to get along.
I'm a communicative person though. I don't like talking on the phone for three hours, but when I do talk purposeful words come out.
That and I think [a lot] of girls just expect too much out of [some] guys. Perhaps [some of them] are not as deep as you wish they would be.
But boy howdy, did I get caught up in the illusion. A couple of very memorable times. I guess on the theory that if you have to work that hard it must be worth it? But honey, there's work and then there's WORK.
I'm old enough, and jaded enough, to be past the idea that there's only one right person out there for each of us. I think there are a lot of possibly right people, and that it's the ones that are almost right that get us most wrapped around the axle. And in the end, still aren't right enough.
My fitty cents. :-)
Grrrr...men - can't live with, pass me another donut :)
btw, I totally know what you mean about the comments thing. I will go days with nary a commment and think 'where the hell is everyone..' and 'gees a comment would be nice..'. It's a very abandoned feeleing isn't it?
~danelle
Sorry to be such a bummer but, well, when you've had your heart fandangoed on as much as I have, you tend to get a little bitter and jaded about the whole process.
Men really aren't that difficult and neither are we, although I admit to feeling the frustration that you are and I am usually left wondering what I did wrong.
When I start to wonder a)Why I haven't heard from them, or b)Why I'm not good enough for them - I immediately try to refocus my energy on me. I think about things that I want to do, like projects, places I want to go or I call up my gf's and arrange a get together. The minute I get busy with me, and no longer care about them, things turn around. The silent wonder shows up explaining what it was that was keeping him away or quiet, or someone new and exciting enters my life.
I've been silent myself about things that have bothered me, and when asked point blank, I've chosen not to divulge. Usually I don't when I don't think the relationship is worthy of the bother. I can only think that perhaps he feels the same way. Sometimes things can bother a person, but they know that there is no way to change it, so they keep quiet. One example: My mother lives with me and can be a bitch to my bf's if she doesn't like them. My exbf would often get silent about my mother. He wouldn't tell me because in the end it would not improve anything. He would only push a subject that had no resolution.
Not sure if any of this helps, and I hope you are feeling better.